S-tracking finally started working again, and I might point out that I have no gratitude for the sons of motherless goats over there who never bothered to get back to me. So, the following stats are the history of my blog's first year, plus one week.

Above, you'll see the total traffic for calendar years '04 and '05. I started in tracking around the beginning of July of '04, and from the looks of it, traffic continues to pick up. The second half of '05 should dwarf the second half of '04, at this rate. The blue column is unique visitors, the other (no idea what color, as i'm colorblind) is total page hits.

Some figures:

6355 total page views to date
3565 unique page views to date

24% of my page referrals were from Blogger (I assume mainly from the "recently updated" menu)

11% were from ImprovEverywhere, which helped make May '05 my far-and-away most viewed month to date, with over 1000 page views.

10% were from my main man Dan over at Hotel California. Dan waxes political, rants Christianical, and lusts after In-n-Out burgers, just like me. Check him out.

Smaller percentages went to Yahoo (220 referrals or 47% of search engine referrals), Google (187, or 40%), a few other search engines, and a couple blogs in particular.

Fully 43% of my referrals were from various other blogs, thanks in large part to Blogger's "next blog" button.

As for search terms that brought people to me, 60 of them were unknown (annoying), 25 of them were "all kinds of time," 14 were "christianity uncorked," 10 were "Matthias Dapfner," and the list goes down from there. Some of my personal favorites:

"geese attacks"
"hoboken blog dave time ski"
"dave barry hoboken"
"ebay mammogram for sale jesus"
"rhymes with utopia"
"anger when gets hungry"
"beer pong bursting bladders"
"dastardly chickens"
"disassembling a toaster"
"escorts 15 miles from Exton, PA"
"gristede pronunciaton"
"meditation chair and Gaim"
"squeeze tubes and dog training"
"uncle rico 32 piece set"
"unstaffed time at accenture"
"what does 'astronomically intimidated' mean?"

I hope all of you, except maybe the escorts guy, found what you were looking for.

People entered my blog via the default page 61% of the time, but came via the ImprovEverywhere post 16% of the time. The rest were via various other posts, and archives.

And, last but not least, I've been watching the watchers. 92% of you (2123) are, naturally, new visitors. But there are some repeats, as follows:

126 have visited from 2 to 5 times
25 have visited from 6 to 10 times
17 have visited from 11 to 25 times
9 visitors have ranked from 25 to 100 visits
2 of you have logged over 100 visits - my congrats

I have a general idea of who some of my repeat visitors are based on the domain names of their internet providers, and they kind of ebb and flow, following in the natural course of life as we know it...

This past Sunday afternoon, after our year-end picnic for the youth group I work with at my church, I had the opportunity to do some shopping with some friends down in SoHo. Once we had finished, we hopped in the car and headed back north through Manhattan to make our way to the Lincoln tunnel and home from there. We didn't get very far north, though, before things started getting more than a little hectic. And it took about 10 seconds to realize that the insanity that was filling the sidewalks and bringing traffic to a grinding halt was, in fact, the annual gay pride parade. It takes place at the height of gay pride month, and whatever starry-eyed conservatives out there that would tell you that homosexuals are still a miniscule percentage of our national population has never seen a parade like this.

As we sat there in the car it was simply shocking - the complete and utter depravity that completely surrounded us. I don't care go into further detail as I'll be doing my best to forget about the experience, but I'm sure your imagination can fill in the details. It was a celebration of perversion on a massive scale, and made me think immediately of my recent study of Daniel 5 and the profane orgy thrown by Belshazzar that prompted the hand to appear and write his doom on the wall. It felt like I was sitting in a modern day Soddom or Gomorrah. I think the only words that escaped my mouth were to point out the ironic fact that they were not only celebrating a sin (homosexuality), but celebrating it in the most outrightly sinful way (pride).

And as I sat there in the car, eyes wide in my disdain, I was reminded of the sermon that I heard that very morning on Judgement and Healing. The scripture on which the sermon was based came from Matthew 7:

1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

6"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.

These verses hearken back to a verse near the beginning of the SOTM, Matthew 5:20:

20For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

And I realized that what sat before me was the very dichotomy that we all deal with so often: yes, I see that what they are doing is wrong and sinful, and while I know that I do not take part in such behavior...who am I to judge?

judgment is something that we are all taking part in, constantly, every day. It doesn't take the shock and awe of a gay pride parade. The first example that comes to my head is when I think of my daily run - I'm constantly judging the stupidity I see in people driving cars as they fail to yield to pedestrians. Or I'm judging the manager that hasn't called me back for his rudeness in not returning a call, or I'm judging friends who don't seem to prioritize worship in the same way I do, or what have you. We all do it in our own little ways, day in, and day out. Even the moral relativist who claims that no one has the right to judge what anyone else holds to be right or wrong - even he is judging those who say that we do have the right to judge. We all judge.

But judgment isn't necessarily a bad thing, in and of itself. Its just the way in which we do it. Christ himself essentially was judging the very act of judgment in the SOTM, and so we know that there is, necessarily, some good judgment. But its so very hard to do it like He did.

I suppose that here it would be more helpful to forgo examining how Christ would practice judgment. We know that he did, and does, and ultimately will, perfectly judge. And if we can internalize this and live responsively to it, we should find ourselves in precious few situations where we feel the need to look down from the bench and hold others in contempt of our own personal court. Rather, it would be more helpful to examine the parable of the pharisee and the tax collector as they came to pray (Luke 18). If we can simply see our constant need to be on our knees, beating our breasts, and completely humble...we won't have time to judge. Instead we will feel the compulsion that should consume us - to restore others gently (Gal 6:1).

I am not a homosexual. Its not a temptation I face. But as I've pointed out before, I am aware that it is a temptation others truly struggle with. And though I am free from this temptation, I of course have my very own unique sinful temptations, and I daily fail in my fight against them. I am in no place to judge homosexuals, even though I know that the lifestyle they have chosen is sinful and wrong. We've all chosen sinful lives.

I have but to rest in the fact that my ultimate judgment is in the past and I have been cleared on all charges. And what better response could I have than to reach to those that have not yet known this good news and seek to share it with them, regardless of their sexual orientation?

Why, all the souls that were forfeit once;
And He that might he vantage best took
Found out the remedy. How would you be
If He, which is the top of judgment, should
But judge as you are? O, think on that;
And mercy then will breathe within your lips,
Like man new made. - Shakespeare, Measure for Measure

(the picture above is from the Episcopal church up the street from where I live. I suppose the church supporting a prideful celebration of this sin is a post for another day.)

This is how recruiters should be advertising for our Navy.

Apparently if you suffered late charges from Hollywood Video recently, you're eligible for free movie rentals.

The Third Annual Nigerian Email Conference. This is freakin hysterical.

Whoa, cool.

Write an email to yourself in the future. Duuuuuuude.

For the ladies.

Reader supplied link (very rare indeed): weirdest sports injuries. K I think my hubcap to the face injury of last year ranks here. Except its not sports, unless you call chasing a kid with a hubcap across the park a sport. Which I guess it could be. I mean there is that artsy gymnastics stuff that they put on every time the Olympics rolls around, right after the real gymnastics is finished, which is kind of like giving a kid who just opened all his birthday presents a toy from a cereal box or something and expecting him to play with it. I mean seriously, just when you're all gymnastic drama-ed out from the insanity of it all, they bring on the not-really-gymnastics gymnastic competition? I hate that. Does anyone really watch that?

No. You would at least think that, years ago, someone would have had the decency to put it in front of the real gymnastics. Maybe that way some people might at least watch it as a kind of warm-up deal. "Aw, aren't they cute, they think they're like the real gymnast girls..." Its kind of like when you went to the rodeo as a kid, and they let some midgets ride out on a sheep or something. Except here the girls are the same size, and they think its for real, which makes it kind of sad, in a way. And that's why its funny. And maddening: what I don't like about it is that the distractions are so obvious - look over here at this hula-hoop, or this ball, or watch these batons in the air while I pretend to do something athletic down here on the ground.

I wouldn't be surprised if some professional post-real-gymnastics artsy-gymnastics girl finds this and goes bonkers on me. Its entirely possible. Makes me think of my whole "Cheerleading is not a sport" diatribe, but I'm not even going to start that now. I only put myself out there for one castration at a time.

The chances that I might actually post last week's links tomorrow, on Monday, are, I'd say...strong...to very strong...

But it ain't gonna happen tonight. Tonight you get your third blather-crap post in a row. I'm on a rampage.

Church today was a fascinating sermon by David Bisgrove on judgment - I've really come to enjoy his preaching in lieu of Tim's. I need to spend some time this summer really getting to worship early, getting in the mind-mode, and digging into the sermons that some of the other pastors will be preaching. Although it looks like work will be kicking back up for me in the very near future, I actually consider that a good thing - a return to routine and system after a nice 3-month paid sabbatical of sorts. So, along with a great deal of work and learning and studying, I'll be focusing on reviving some of my spiritual practices that I can honestly say have lagged, for no better reason than sheer burn-out, over the past few months. Devotions, prayer, and worship are primary on that list.

After church was the year-end picnic for the group, and it was bittersweet in a way as we'll be losing a couple of our leaders who are moving on for work/school this summer, and won't join us next year. I'll particularly miss my homie and accountability partner Pauly Walnuts. There's pictures and as soon as I can get a hold of them, I'll post them. Also Paul and I continued our annual tradition of distracting Kathy and then emptying a cooler of ice water on her.

Then it was off to the H store in Soho to clean up on simply ridiculous savings. I got (among a lot of other things) a Zegna suit (because Zegna makes H's suit line). I can't really go into what kind of savings I was getting because my connection, while legit, is rather private. Suffice to say I didn't pay near what a Zegna suit should cost. This was pretty much my first experience ever of really going out and shopping for clothes. Before and during college, it was here and there - whatever you needed at the moment you ran out and bought, whatever, no big trips. Then since college everything I've ever needed has just been on ready supply in the offices I've worked in, and so for 5 odd years I was free from the misery of shopping. Now that I'm pretty much out of the industry, I have to take the deals where I can get them, so I finally broken down and did a real true wardrobe update. Now I need to figure out how I'm going to pay for all of it.

I didn't get a single thing done that I was hoping to do on Saturday and then pushed to Sunday, and now its going on 8pm and this is the first I've sat down all day. So I doubt much will happen tonight. Hopefully I'll have a day or two before the traveling begins, but I have a feeling I'm going to find out tomorrow morning that I need to leave tomorrow night, or best case Tuesday morning. So who knows how much time I'll actually have to get things done. Or maybe I won't go at all. Who knows.

I'm not even going to promise links tomorrow at this point, they may just not happen at all until this week's links come up. Also S-tracking is still withholding my information like an evil demon machine of a website. Oh how I hate S-tracking.

That is all.

Links pushed to Sunday. We've been here before, stop complaining.

Got nothing done today. Woke up late, gave Grace a brief pep talk / best practices advice on phone interviews. Goofed off, got a sub from Mario's, met up with Cregan and headed down to the Architect's Club, a course near the PA state line. Beautiful course, played a lot better than yesterday, actually enjoyed it.

Then it was Toys R Us, Circuit City, Target, and Applebee's with Cregan. Which took a bit.

Tomorrow is the picnic, as mentioned, and then trying to get some of the stuff I didn't do today done.

I love golf.

Thought I'd give blog the day off on Thursday to sleep off the celebrating festivities from its birthday. Also it was a crazy day in the office, getting stood up for a meeting with my career counselor, then I came home and busted out a 10-miler, which took it all out of me, which was ok because I needed to crash early for an EARLY golf game this morning. I played worse than I can ever remember playing, ever. So that was a lot of fun. And Cregan wants to go again tomorrow and I'm probably going to go. Whatever.

Got a VM while I was probably on the 14th hole or so from a senior manager wanting to put me on a project starting Monday. Put him on standby while I buzzed my CC about it, who told me to take it, naturally. This way I'm no longer bugging him trying to find a good position, instead I'm stuck on one that isn't a great fit. Whatever - I can't complain after this long off. So long story short I may be staffed and spending my weeks between Raleigh, NC and Toronto, Canada, from Monday until sometime around October, if my role on the project, and the project itself stay on target. Which I'm very sure will happen. Right. Or maybe it won't happen at all - I still haven't gotten confirmation to book travel, though it sounds like it probably will happen. I dunno.

So this afternoon I helped Cregan with the groceries and then made the fruit salad for our cook out for the kids who went with us to Atlanta. Which I never posted the pictures for. And I never posted the pictures from the U2 concert, come to think of it. Add those 2 to the to-do for list tomorrow. Anyway it was a nice evening and I got to cook lots of meat over fire, which is just about as natural as a man can feel.

Tomorrow is get-my-life-in-order-as-best-as-possible day should I be traveling full time for the foreseeable future. Dry cleaning, laundry, mail, phone calls, bills, paperwork, family stuff, general organization and lots of other fun stuff. No lesson to prepare for Sunday as its our year-end picnic. Hoo RAH.

Last year's picnic sent me to the emergency room after a freak accident with a flying hub cap. No joke.

(Maybe links tomorrow)

One year ago today, I wrote this.

Its been an interesting year. Some things changed significantly, many stayed the same. Passed some milestones, too. I've been out of college for 5 years now, and remained single for the extent of that period. I feel like I've learned a lot about myself and very little about certain other things. Made a fairly major job change this year, thank God - really my first unimposed job change in my adult working life. Have done more thinking about what to pursue as a career, and am still basically at the same point I was a year ago. But I'm still thinking.

Some details:

By my count I've written about 232 posts, including this one. No idea how many words that makes, because blogger's user profile tells me I've only written 92 posts for around 32,000 words. Attempts to contact them to rectify that problem have proved fruitless. Do the math, and in the first 92 posts I averaged about 350 words per post, so you add another 140 posts at that rate and you get a rough estimate of 81,000 words (49+32). I have a feeling that I got in more words per post later in the year, however, so I may well have been closer to 90,000.

That's less than a post a day, obviously, which is something I've only been good at during certain times in the past year. I think ideally I'll get to the point where I'm 95% regular with week day postings, and I'll likely start taking weekends off. This should happen around the time I get my first project assignment with the new job (read: soon). I leave 5% for the unexpectedly busy days and some travel / vacation possibilities.

Blogger isn't the only website with issues however. I've always been nervously skeptical about S-tracking's storage of my information, but they've been the best free website traffic monitor I've come across so far, so I've stuck with them. Began tracking in the early days of my blog, and I could give you lots of other detail on my visitors if only my stupid login would work. Haven't been able to access their site for weeks now, which is, consequently, driving me bonkers. I've written them several notes begging for help from their main page, today I even took a shot in the dark and sent an pitiful email to webmaster@s-tracking.com. Why won't they respond to me?

So this will likely lead to a second posting, when, if ever, I am finally able to access my traffic information again.

In the mean time, happy birthday, blog!

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:25-34

As of late, I think I've been pretty open with my viewpoints and standards in regards to relationships with the opposite sex. I've been working through a lot of thought and discussion and reading and whatnot lately in this arena, and one thing in particular has been met with some pretty vehement opposition.

I am not worried about finding a potential mate. It just doesn't concern me. If God should choose to bring one along, and make it clear to me that I should pursue such a relationship, I certainly would do so with vim. However, I trust that if such is His plan for my life, I do not have to aggressively seek it out - instead I believe that in providence could lead me to it through natural courses.

I think the opposition to this point of view has been along the general lines that to act this way is to be lazy with the resources God has given me. One particular person I spoke with recently used the terminology finding "all lawful means" to source a potential mate. The context was that marriage is a Godly duty to be pursued by those able and not otherwise called to celibacy. And while I could be stretched to admit that yes, perhaps it is a Christian duty to marry if able (and called!), I will not agree that the single Christian must be consumed with a singular motivation to find a mate.

When Christ said that we should "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness," He meant that our relationship with Him is that which should consume us and be our driving force. Everything else (yes, even a marriage partner) is simply added unto us as the blessings of having the right priority governing our hearts and minds.

Tommy Nelson, in his Song of Solomon series, used a wonderful illustration based on the New Testament metaphors of the Christian as a man running a race. Nelson explained that if we are focused on the goal, and running after it, we should not have to slow down or speed up to find a mate, but simply be able to glance to our side and notice someone running at about the same pace - and give them a little wave.

This is where I am at. I don't feel I need to run any harder, or in any other direction, if I am already running my hardest towards Christ. I'm not worried that He cannot fulfill these desires in my life should He so choose. I do not believe that He needs me to help him bring this to pass.

In no means should I hereby imply that I look down on single Christians who are in active pursuit of a potential mate. I certainly would think that God may give deeper desires for certain things to some people than He does to others, and there is no more a right or wrong than people's different tastes in music. I have many good friends who are single Christians, and do actively put themselves in the dating scene, and I am happy for them. It is simply not something I desire to do, and yet I am comfortable in the fact that God can find other means to provide a help meet.

I am convinced that, provided I am seeking His will with my whole heart, there is nothing I can do (or not do, for that matter) that could keep His plan from being worked out in my life. And I will rejoice, no matter what that plan may be.

Imagine, if you will, a massive snowball at the top of a hill. At the base of the hill, there are two men standing side by side. The snowball begins to roll down the hill toward the two men, growing in size and speed. One of the men looks to the other and says, "Look at this. This kind of [thing] always happens to me. Look at it! Its headed right for me. Just watch. I'm telling you." The other man looks at the looming threat, looks back at the other man and then steps out of the snowball's path. The first man gets clobbered and his theory is proven correct. The second man goes skiing.

The moral of this simple story is that if you expect the worst to happen, it will. At all times, even in the most dire situations, you have a choice. You can focus on that which is wrong or that which is right. You can appreciate the beauty in people or you can look for their flaws. The assumptions you make about your won life often become true for you, and the assumptions you make about others can ruin relationships.

A negative mind-set goes way beyond your immediate perception of a given situation. Your attitude is perceptible to others. People notice if you are critical, cynical and angry at the world. It makes people pull away from you, it lessons your chances of promotion or advancement in the workplace, and it makes you a lousy date. And as you find yourself feeling rejected, overlooked and denied, you sink even further into your black hole of isolation and resentment, and the situation worsens. This ridiculous cycle would be laughable if it weren't so destructive to so many lives.

Obviously life is never all sunshine and puppies, and nobody wants to be around a psychotically optimistic cheerleader, but a positive outlook and open mind have far more benefits than the obvious. Achieving a positive outlook is a matter of choice. Do not focus on the misery of being overweight - think about how good it will feel to be sexy, fit and strong. Do not wallow in the misery of your job - focus on your options and begin to visualize where you would like to be. The idea is to focus on what you want, and you will begin to move toward it. If you focus on the negative situation that is making you unhappy, you will stay there. Whether its debt, loneliness or boredom, think about what you want to replace it with and hold onto that picture like a randy pitbull with a new chew toy.

Bear in mind, though, that there is no job, no lover and no financial status that will bring you happiness. True, these things may increase your enjoyment of life and relieve stress, but you cannot spend your life waiting to be rescued by any one of them. You should always have goals, but living your life with some distantly imagined finish line is a sad way to go. Your life is happening now. It may change in the future, but that doesn't mean that today doesn't count. Just because you are digging your way out of debt, that doesn't mean you can't go for a hike in the sunshine. Carrying a few extra pounds doesn't mean you can't find someone to love, and there are few situations in life that are truly inescapable.

One thing that is certain is that if you feel sorry for yourself, assume that you are powerless or decide that a situation is hopeless, there can only be one outcome. You will be sorry, powerless and hopeless. Any sports psychologist will tell you that if you constantly indulge in defeatist thinking, you will surely be defeated. You may have great challenges or obstacles in your path, but if you know what you truly want and are prepared to make it happen, there is nothing that you cannot achieve in one form or another. It all comes down to the little choices you make on a daily basis.

- Michael Flocker, The Metrosexual Guide to Style

Mike closed his book with an interesting chapter on the metrosexual mind-set. Things like the power of positivity, confidence, humor, attitude, etc.. Near as I can tell, he subscribes to either a Hindu or perhaps Buddist religion, or perhaps just considers himself a modern day (essentially agnostic) spiritualist.

But I still think a good deal of what he said above is spot on. Its interesting how the secular can so often deal true wisdom in spades. It never seems to find a winning hand, though...

The book, while a wee bit pretentious, is a good read for the modern man. I'd say that personally, thanks in large part to my job choices the first 5 years out of school, and in lesser part to simply being a socially conscious individual living in the NYC area, only about 20% of the knowledge in this book was new stuff I could walk away with. I'm not saying that puts me in the top 20% of stylish men, but I do see guys my age on the train even here in New York wearing ties with short sleeves or still wearing the label on the sleeve of their peacoat.

I consider myself a heterosexual, and find it more than a little absurd that society saw fit to label this trend as a sexual one, because I really feel it has little to do with sexuality. Michael's book spoke precious little to the sexual nature of a metrosexual, and what little was there seemed forced (perhaps because he attempts to blend the line to imply that gay, bi, or straight men could all qualify for the honorable title).

While I identify with many of the preconceptions associated with the title, I feel the trend itself is grossly misnomered. The fact that I can recognize and assimilate the culturally relavent styles of my era have little or in fact nothing to do with sexual practice, something that remains unchanged by society on a historical scale. People have been perverting this God-given gift since culture itself began. Sin doesn't change.

So I'd say its about time we got around to throwing some links up, eh?
Christian Carnival is up.

If you only visit 2 of my links this week, see CC above and then watch Manamana. Watch it 20 times. Do it now.

Also its the Hubble's 15th anniversary, and this recap is pretty cool.

Your Google link of the week is what happens when you Google images for Darth Vader without his mask on.

Another way the internet just keeps making life better for everyone: Celebrities playing table tennis.

Only about 1620 days til I might start watching the late show...the Conan Countdown.

Was that a secret message? (Dominic Errazo is my hero)

Free Katie.

So I'm browsing Ifilm last week when I notice they have Improv Everywhere's video from Even Better Than the Real Thing on there. This probably means more traffic for me, but my stupid traffic monitor is broken and I guess I may never know.

Also, what could be better than Ron Burgundy's audition for an ESPN position?

I have lots more to link to but at this point its almost the next week already, so I'll just save them for then, I suppose, because I am lazy like that. But not before I give a MAJOR shout out to my homie, the Nardinator. Send this man a care package, people.

Hey howabout that, looks like links get pushed all the way to Sunday this week. I wouldn't say they're in danger of not happening at all. Yet.

Tonight was Julie's birthday party at 'disiac - a smallish but very nice joint off of Ninth somewhere in the 50's. Very neighborhoodish but still very NYC metrocool. Patio out back was bigger than the bar room up front, and we had a row of tables on one side of the patio reserved. Nice crowd, took off early to get home and work on tomorrow's lesson, the last of the year. Gave 3 of the Hoboken gals a lift home, swung and missed, got home, ordered chinese, did the lesson, and...here we are.

I hate folding laundry. I really do. More than any other house chore, I hate folding laundry. I don't mind doing the laundry, separating it, getting it to the dryer, to the basket...but I am so incredibly averse to actually folding it. Many weeks I end up needing to iron a good number of t-shirts because they sat in a wrinkled ball with the rest of the laundry for far too long.



This is my dresser. It serves, basically, as a stand for clean, unfolded laundry. I hate folding laundry. This is what I need a girlfriend for - to fold my laundry. That's about it.

Also, this afternoon, J left a cup of ice water on our glass dining room table. The sunlight caused steam to come off the bottom of it, which was cool. Hard to get a good picture of, but still cool.

If you are really a product of a materialistic universe, how is it that you don’t feel at home there?… Our lifelong nostalgia, our longing to be reunited with something in the universe from which we now feel cut off, to be on the inside of some door which we have always seen from the outside, is no mere neurotic fancy, but the truest index of our real situation…. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for something else of which they are only a kind of a copy, or echo, or mirage. I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that other country and to help others to do the same. – C.S. Lewis

The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world. - Bob Orben

(yes, we missed thursday linkery, so what's new? hopefully we'll throw up some semblance of goodies tomorrow, perhaps even with an explanation of yesterday and today's malbloggery. and maybe even some of those pictures from the atlanta trip i never got around to putting up. maybe.)

This is Max and Emme. If all goes according to plan, my family will adopt them this Saturday. Their owners are moving to (ironically, somewhat) New York City and can't take the dogs with them. I think they're gorgeous. If you disagree you are wrong.

(Nothing to blog tonight, hopefully we'll hit the past weekend's photos by Friday.)

Food. Food is an interesting thing. God didn't need to make humans with a need for food, but he did. Or, at least, at first, he made them with a pure enjoyment of it. I'm not sure that bodies created to live forever would have truly needed food. Who knows. That's all rather speculative, and a moot point, considering that Satan used food as his medium to tempt man and woman to sin, and they ushered sin into the world through food. At which point we know that they did need food, because they have to labor for it by the sweat of their brow, so that they could live short lives then die. Its interesting to note that the curse given to the serpent also involved eating - "You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life."

Food (and drink, I might add) went on a long and interesting journey from the Garden of Eden on through the course of the Old Testament. Food was also at issue in the second major sin in the Bible. Abraham was promised his first son just after he fed the three visitors. It just kept popping up in birthright deals, various dreams, ordinated meals and feasts, miracles in the desert, sacrifices and offerings, signs of the promise land, weakening strong men, strengthening weak women, the list goes on and on. Food and drink serve as quite the handy metaphor throughout the poetic and prophetic books (and some of the prophets almost became food themselves!), and then you hit the Gospels.

Jesus' first miracle involved drink. The two of his "biggest" (directly effected the most people) miracles were those of feeding the masses. The first temptation Satan went after Jesus with (quite predictably, if you consider his track record of temptation) was also regarding food. He spoke on food and fasting and such quite a good deal, and then He did something quite fascinating - He served a meal. For His last act before trial and death, Christ chose to institute a meal, and serve his disciples bread and wine. And then He became the ultimate bread and wine. He atoned for all sin which spread from the bad apple by becoming the Bread of Life and drinking the cup of God's wrath. And when his crucifixion was at an end, he had a final drink, cried out, and died. The resurrected Christ was first recognized by his disciples when he again broke bread for them, and his last miracle before leaving earth was again involving the gift of food.

Its clear to see that food is an important thing to us - not just for the sustenance of life, but for creating the avenues through which the ultimate life might be demonstrated, shared, and celebrated. You see this in the youth group giving pizza away to attract kids, and the mission giving food to the homeless. You see it in the family dinner table, and in welcoming friends to the table as well. And you see it quite clearly in the celebration of the Lord's Supper.

The gift of food is, essentially, the gift of life, and such a gift carries with it the necessary (if subtle) implications of what the gift of spiritual food would do for a person. Its over food that we find true communion and fellowship, and a Christian should consider it no small thing to be quick to offer the gift of food. It is a simple, easy, and clear way that we can show Christ to the world, and the doors that we open to sharing spiritual food with the truly starving are essentially endless, when we have garnered favor by first offering the real thing. Let us endeavor to be gracious hosts and good cooks. Or call Dominos.

If you know much about the South and the history of civil rights in America, you could probably place this sign pretty accurately. When I get around to doing a decent photoblog of my trip this past weekend, it will be given a little further context.

It was a good trip. I took a lot of pictures and was surprised at how few turned out at least decent, but there are a few good ones in there. The event itself wasn't exactly what I expected. Couple that with running into a few elements of such events that are somewhat germane to their existence - and perhaps shouldn't be - and I had some slight ruffles. On top of that, everything just feels like a blur right now. I don't know how to say or type it. I guess I just have a lot on my mind and can't seem to get over, around, or through it. Its just there.

But it was a good weekend. I wish I could have done a better job of making it better for everyone else, is all.

You ever start spacing out and find yourself staring intently at nothing in particular, and you can't quite even explain to yourself what it was you were thinking about? I have that in spades, lately.

How wonderful for you. Thursday's usually linkery comes a day early this week, thanks to my planned trip to Atlanta, tomorrow through Monday. Please note that no blogging is promised until Monday, possibly Tuesday, at the earliest, due to this trip, and you should therefore consider rationing yourself on the following links. I'll do my best to hop on here and there if I can, but this will likely prove the first gap in daily posting since I made my last effort to revive the daily post deal.

First, and most importantly, if you click on no other link in this post, go here. It's this week's Christian Carnival, hosted by Reformed Politics, and we're all very grateful for his hard work. Lots of great reading to be found here.

Rule of Four appears to be a book promo site. I figured out the first few puzzles, then got bored. But its an interesting approach to marketing fiction.

Lots of Google goodies this week, just because. First off, Google's market cap continues to hover in the high seventies to low eighties - it was nigh on 83 bil when I checked earlier this week. Either way, its still worth more than Disney and GM combined. Maybe they're on to something over there...

You can personalize Google now, btw. I may have already mentioned this, no idea.

Easter eggs (the electronic kind, not the real kind) now have a home on the internets.

As does the solar death ray.

Two more Googles that I may already have spoken of are Google Sightseeing and Scravengoogle. Both good time wasters based on Google maps.

Interesting brain game. If you miss the red, you get taken back to the previous level. I was able to finish it in 200 and a few seconds, but I think I could go lower if I gave it another shot. Gets mighty diffy towards the end.

Apparently Ligers are real. And freakin HUGE. Seriously, scroll back up and look at the size of its head.

The freakin French figured out how to get a helicopter to the summit of Everest. This is the in-freaking-credible link of the year award - getting a combustion engine to function, much less a helicopter blade to cut enough air at a height where oxygen is so scarce, is nigh on impossible. I'm half tempted to question this link's authenticity, but I watched the video, and for the life of me it looks legit. I don't know, gonna have to read up. Anyway, they didn't actually set the copter down on the summit, so I'm less than impressed either way. Figure out how to win a war and maybe I'll give you a nod. Even if they had pulled it off, I think I'd be more pissed that someone did this than impressed. Even if they weren't French.

This guy rents hotel rooms and paints/tattoos the wall underneath the pictures hanging in the room. And of course, there is a website for this kind of thing, too. Naturally.

Crying while eating is perhaps the funniest thing ever. Or not. But at least it has its own website.

This is called the coolest picture ever. I disagree, because I've seen pictures of, oh...Charlize Theron...that are much cooler. However this may be the biggest weird sci-fi space picture thing, ever.

Sweet! The Millenium Falcon was in Episode 3! What would we do without our nerds?

I have taken absolutely no look at this blog, and I don't need to. Just the first few lines were enough for me to give it my full-fledged endorsement.

Wendy's gives us a weird waste of time, but the line at the end makes it worth it. Almost.

Please call the internet. Then leave me a comment and let me know what it said. Maybe it wants to play tennis.

Scare Tactics is just plain great. I want to see this show in its entirety.

That's all for now. Its a lot, I know, and hopefully you haven't used all of them already, because you've got the weekend to get through. You can do it.

Some months ago, I submitted a post to Christian Carnival on the way I've come to view relationships with the opposite sex, as a young, single, Christian dude (I almost typed "man" there, but it just sounds so grown up). This post was by no means my best work, but it served to elicit far more comments than are normally seen on a blog of this nature - and by "far more" I mean you're going to have to use both hands to count them. The post can be found here, and I suggest you read it for a good deal of background on what follows. The last comment to be made on that post was by Wendy, who said:

Dave, interesting post. You know, I'd be interested in finding out what standards you are actually looking for a in a girl.

I blog for an online web magazine, which recently featured two articles concerning what makes up a quality woman and a quality man. In my blog, I followed up with some advice of my own for men interested in quality dating.

So, as one of the many females striving to be women of quality in hopes that we'll one day deserve the love of a man with the same goals, I have to tell you that we women are dying to know if we're getting it right or not.

Consider it, why don'cha, then let me know if you do write more about this sort of thing, and I'll link to you. In fact, I think I'm going to link to you anyway.

I have no way of knowing whether or not Wendy did link to me, because, you see, she left no contact information. I haven't been able to find her online web magazine, try though I might, and I have hence been unable to let her know if I do write more. Well, Wendy, I'm writing more. Sorry for the delay, and hopefully women are still dying to know.

To start, I have to humbly take issue with Wendy's wording when she said "in hopes that we'll one day deserve the love of a man with the same goals..." - I submit that no man or woman could ever truly deserve the true love of a spouse committed to the same goals in a Christian marriage. In fact, this is the wonderful thing about true Christian love - as we seek to see Christ in and build the body of Christ up in the other person, we come to love them more and more in spite of their undeserving, sinful nature. I go out of my way to point this out most primarily because I know this: I will never deserve the love of a woman who would live up to the standards that I now set forth. I can only hope she would be full enough of Christ to love me in spite of myself.

And so, without further adieu, what David is looking for.

1. A Christian. This is the first for a reason: none of the others will matter. I have decided what the most important thing in my life is - because God saw fit to find me, dead in my sin, and show me what it is. I cannot tie my life to someone who has not received this grace. That said, I don't mean that she has to be a Christian right now. In talking with a good friend recently, he told me that before he got married, the point at which he would no longer pursue interests in a woman was when he knew she had no interest in or hope of turning to the Gospel message. He made me realize an interesting thing - for many years I had been canceling out the entire non-Christian female population from my pool of prospective datables. Now, while this clearly is not a very evangelistic attitude, I am not, at the same time, taking the dock on behalf of the practice we have dubbed as missionary dating. Suffice to say, we generally understand Paul's admonition to not be "yoked together" with an unbeliever to be speaking about a bond of marriage, not a discussion over a cup of coffee. To say a little where I could go on for quite a while - I doubt that I will deal much with this issue because of the very first thing stated above - my faith is central to my life, and as such I think I would have a harder time finding things I hold in common with someone who's life hasn't been changed in a similar fashion.

As for a suitable marriage partner, a necessity would be holiness. Not perfection, but holiness. I think perhaps I should also mention that it would be important to me that a partner have (at the very least) an understanding of and respect for my approach to the faith - namely Reformed Protestantism. Yet at the end of the day it is the fact that we both have the same Best Friend that would matter most.

2. Completion. And I realize that this sounds so incredibly Jerry McGuire, but it takes spot # 2 despite Tom's marring of this crucial element. God saw that it was "not good for the man to be alone." It was, in fact, the first thing in a perfect creation sequence that was "not good." In creating woman, God did an interesting thing - He took away from the man, He essentially made man incomplete. This was a literal motion yet bore incredible significance for the entire future of humanity. Calvin put it something like this:

Yet I am more in favour of a different conjecture, namely, that something was taken from Adam, in order that he might embrace, with greater benevolence, a part of himself. He lost, therefore, one of his ribs; but, instead of it, a far richer reward was granted him, since he obtained a faithful associate of life; for he now saw himself, who had before been imperfect, rendered complete in his wife. And in this we see a true resemblance of our union with the Son of God; for he became weak that he might have members of his body endued with strength.

I'm looking for someone who forms the other piece of the puzzle. And again we're back to the triteness of "things we have in common," but its just that - similar interests, a good "fit" - physically, socially, emotionally, intellectually. Spiritually was already covered. This all basically means someone who it is good for me to be "not alone" with - someone who is running in the same direction as me, someone who can spur me on to greater things, and hopefully I she.

Now then, if I were to happen upon a woman with the aforementioned qualities, the next logical step would be...

3. Love. And I speak of love in two senses: A) Is she full of love herself, and B) do I have the same for her? The first is kind of important - if she doesn't love me, well, we're not going anywhere fast. Same thing goes for me with her. There must be a requisition of utter joy and delight in the other person, in all the facets that I just mentioned: physical, social, emotional, intellectual, spiritual. Why is this a separate step? Why wouldn't this just be considered the natural reaction to finding the one who completes you?

Because love isn't something we fall into, any more than we fall out of it. As I've said before, love is a decision. One you make every minute of every day. Marriage is a promise to make that decision for the betrothed alone, every minute until you die. And so, love is a very important point.

4. Role fulfillment. God gave man and wife specific roles in the marriage relationship, and despite our modern culture's best attempts to pollute and dissolve them, they remain vital to the functioning of a healthy marriage. I'm not going to get into the masculinity / feminism thing here too much. I think scripture is clear that men are appointed the head of their wives and households, and therefore a wife has the duty to "submit, in the Lord, to [the husband's] government with confidence that [he] will care for both her temporal and eternal interests." (Rev. David Coffin)

People readily react to this, but I believe it is because they do not see the heavy burden of responsibility it places squarely on the shoulders of a husband - it defines the man's role in the marriage. A man is to care for his wife as Christ did the church. When I said before that I would hope she could "love me in spite of myself" - this is what I had in mind. I am called to care for her as Christ did his church. A duty I would strive towards knowing that I would fail at times along the way. That's why (yet again) love is such a necessary point.

Humility is a necessity for both parties as they fulfill their roles. A wife must be humble enough to both let a husband lead, and a to let him sacrifice himself in service to her. I can't stand it today when I see girls that insist on opening the doors for themselves. And husbands, well, obviously, must lead humbly, knowing that they are striving to follow the perfect example as they care for the wife.

5. Attraction. For a long time I have struggled with how to put this one, but a conference I attended recently helped me to put this into perspective (and helped me to form a lot of the thoughts for this post at large). One of the duties and blessings of marriage is to offer to and find in the partner sexual love and fulfillment. If two people are promising one another that they will do this for each other, I don't think its too much to say that they should find the other person's physicality to be desirable. Christians are very quick to jump on the counter-balance here, insist that "beauty is fleeting," and so on. However, an important point here is that I'm not looking to Calvin Klein or Victoria's Secret to get my definition of beauty. Granted, they're going to try to get their definition in my face any way they can, and the struggle will daily be mine to maintain my lucidity in the matter. Much of what is "beauty" in my mind will be determined on who wins that battle. Furthermore, point #2 on completion already dealt with some of this, on the sly. If she's into staying fit in all aspects of her character, I can't see how she wouldn't be attractive.

6. Trustworthy. If I'm going to be making a covenant before God to give my life to this person no matter what (save a breach of said covenant), it has to be someone I can trust my heart, and in some sense (not eternal) my soul to. That's a lot of trust. Its a loving trust, as I know that I would never deserve its requisite, but, well, there's the love part one more time.

Key here are authenticity, honesty, and reliability, to paraphrase Jeramy and Jerusha Clark.

---------------------------

There's a lot that falls under these points - things I didn't touch on (eg. I would think she'd prove a Godly mother if she had the above qualities, etc...). One could argue for more or for less, I suppose. I realize a lot of this went down the marriage trail, and I'm not even at the point of dating right now, but let's not pull any punches about what the purpose of dating is, eh?

Let the discussion begin. I've forgone adding my scriptural support to each point for the sake of length (congrats if you've even read this far), but I can supply as necessary.

Pre-Thursday-linkery-goodness for you, because I am feeling guilty about my lack of ability to throw a decent post together lately. And I really had it in me today, on several occasions. Had a few different things to say, and can't think of a single one, now. Rest assured, they would have been thought-provoking, paradigm-challenging, and likely garnished with my regular witty banter and commentary.

Instead you get this. Language / slight poor taste warning. But its sooooo worth it. TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO funny.

“When language is translated, not only its beauty but also much of its reality is lost. For example,” he said, “what the world calls the Olympic ‘games’ are no such thing. These events are not play. They are not sport.”

“What are they, then?” I asked him.

“I cannot tell you in English,” he said. “The Greek word for what happens at the Olympics has no English equivalent.”

In the same way, I believe, there are words in the Christian language that have no equivalent in the ‘languages’ of business, law, or psychology. When we lose [these words] we lose the hold they have on the realities that they represent. ‘Sin’ does not translate simply as rule-breaking, for instance, any more than it translates as evidence of sickness or psychosis. It is a bigger word than that, with deeper roots….[as are words like] ‘repentance’, ‘grace’, and ‘salvation’. – Barbara Brown Taylor

I love the smell of what I like to call beer mist. Its a fleeting one, hard, nigh, impossible to recreate, and it makes me happy.

Beer mist is found when you take any bottle of decent beer (which means not a major American label unless its Sierra Nevada) and open it, then quickly look inside the bottle - you see the mist that's been sitting there between the liquid and the cap. Just breath it in. That's beer mist. Sometimes I enjoy it even more than the beer. At least on the first one.

I've also had this experience with some sodas, in fact. So you non-drinkers aren't left out in the cold on this one. Get it, cold? Like beer...haha...I'm going to stop typing now...

A big "Hi hello howareya" to all the folks finding me through ImprovEverywhere. I need to write those guys a thank you note for linking to me, their humble volunteer. Can you say "traffic spike?" Wow. See if you can guess from the picture above which day they posted their recap of Even Better Than the Real Thing.

Well, hopefully some of you saw fit to click around a little and read more than just the U2 post. Maybe even came back here a second time to see what's going on. I won't go into any big definition of my blog, it kind of is what it is. Stick around long enough and you'll get the idea. Tuesdays I try to throw up something theological in nature (though I've had crap to say lately) and Thursdays is usually my link dump post. In between are posts on the general goings on in my life. Which, I'm convinced, if they made a movie about it - people would go to see it.

At least 2 of them.

I'm off to Philly and then DC this evening, leaving on the Chinatown bus which comes highly recommended over Greyhound by some experienced friends. Can't beat the price - its cheaper than driving, but what waits to be seen is whether its nicer than the train. Back tomorrow afternoon/evening...

Well everyone's all a-fuss this week over what just so happens to be the Google link of the week, Google Print. I like it. Threw in the words "if I find in myself a desire" and "lewis," and the first three results were all the quote I was looking for (see the bottom of the blog, if you never have), the third being the actual book the text is in - it took me straight to the page. Awesome. Also quite cool is that once you're on a book page, at least for a Firefox user, your back/forward buttons scroll through the pages rather than taking you to the previous search page - instead they have a nifty sidebar that will take you either back to the search or to the other results directly.

Its only the next logical step for the library of congress to go electronic - I don't personally see huge copyright issues, per se. Of course digital media is in the slow, painful process of essentially redefining what the nature of a copyright really is, and will be, but I digress... It was bound to happen sooner or later. People fear change.

And now I'm thinking of the countless hours this could have saved me looking for quotes to throw in papers throughout high school and college.

Speaking of Firefox, check out PC Mag's article on the top 15 extensions for it. I use most of them at this point, some more than others. I use some that weren't in the article too. I just figured since I still haven't gotten around to blogging about that, I'd give a teaser.

You know when CD's first came out, and you thought they were cool? Then one day you left one playing after all the songs were over, just because you forgot to turn it off, and about 8 minutes later you jumped in surprise when a song came on out of nowhere, and then you began to realize that this was in fact a hidden track? And then you thought CD's were really cool? Yeah there's a site for hidden tracks now. What isn't there a site for?

Christian Carnival is up over at A Physicist's Perspective.

Cockeyed should have gone on last week's links because I haven't had much chance to check it out, but I did enjoy reading about their TGI Friday's menu skit. Reminded me straight away of ImprovEverwhere. Also, the guy who wrote the TGIF deal is from Sac! Sactown in the house.

Home was also on my mind this week when I googled up Mustard Seed School. The first result was the one I was looking for, the school our friend Christine runs here in Hoboken. But what caught my eye was the third result - a school by the same name in Sactown. This one is for homeless kids, however, and its a part of Sacramento's Loaves and Fishes, a great organization that I'm familiar with.

Here's some interesting tidbits about the town, courtesy of the exteremly disappointing Sacramento Blog (this was the first one I found, I'm sure there's better ones out there...I mean I hope...).

Cool internet clock.

You know how sometimes you see something and your only response is the classic "That...was...AWESOME!" I had that for Store Wars.

(Today's photo courtesy of Stephen Johnson's Gallery)

2 more days checked off the endless doldrums of being employed with no work to do. Its really not something you will EVER hear me complain about. If I could stay in this situation for the rest of my life I'd be nothing but smiles.

But I'm beginning to wonder if days filled with little or no human interaction are beginning to have an adverse affect on me. I kind of enjoy the quiet, taking my time, not doing much once the work is banged out, but it feels...odd. Tonight I went to the grocery store not because I needed to, but because I felt I'd go crazy if I didn't have at least some kind of social experience. Which turned out to consist of:

Credit or debit?

Credit.

...

You saved $11.53 today.

Thanks.

Stopped by the new restaurant across the street from us today - new being the operative word. In the 3 years I've been here this is probably the 4th proprietorship to give it a go in this very location. It looks good on paper - high visibility, right at the corner, residential developments completely surrounding it. But its a death zone. Two guys kicking it off - they seem nice. I almost felt like I was getting too attached to a pet you knew you were going to have to put down soon, talking to the poor ambitious fellow, so I thanked him and took a take-out menu with me.

You know what I just do not get? When people call me and ask me to call someone else for them. Why are you calling me? Why don't you just call them directly? The one that really puts me off is when someone is calling me to find something out.

I don't know.

Does Matt know?

Probably.

Can you call him for me?

I guess so.

And I'm thinking great, so now I get to call Matt, then call you back. Thanks for that. Or the times when someone calls me and asks me to relay a piece of information to someone else, and none of it concerns me. They're only calling because they don't have the third party's phone number. They don't ask for the phone number, instead they ask me to call. What is the deal with that?

/cease rant mode

So yeah, Star Wars ended with a serious firecracker. Very good #3, almost made up for the prior 2 atrocities. Left me yearning to pull out 4-6 and watch them straight through. If I had them on DVD I probably would have by now. #3 was a sad one - it was kind of weird watching a sad Star Wars, but you knew it had to happen. I'm giving best acting award to Ewan MacGregor for a bang-up job on Obi Wan. Sammy Jax wasn't bad as Mace, but he didn't have much screen time.

Other sad movies seen recently: Finding Neverland. What was I thinking netflixing that? I hate sad movies (truly sad ones, Star Wars was sad in a more...Star Wars way). I don't watch movies to be sad, unless I think there's some morally good reason for the grief (eg. I think its important to see movies like Saving Private Ryan). I watched this movie with Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron once where she's this chick who dies of cancer or some such malady, and that was the whole gist of the movie - they fall in love then she dies. You don't even see her die, you just see her leave him for the last time. That's it. I felt like I wanted to puke. Only women could be sadistic enough to enjoy being brought to tears by a freaking movie.

Oh and I never got around to talking about the BBC series The Office. Simply brilliant. Totally winds you into an incredibly real but incredibly hilarious situation. I was actually depressed after finishing the series, half because it was over so quickly, and half because of how readily I identified so readily with one of the major characters, I won't say which. They only ran it for two seasons, and had a 2-part follow-up special, and the brevity only adds to the brilliance. Some crude humor laced in, but for the most part hysterical.

And that reminds me that I never blogged on Atlantic City (AC). We (Russ, Paul, Phil, Rob, Ben, and I) met around dinner time in China town and got some cheap Chinese to eat. Then we had an extra hour on our hands because Phil had us all show up 2 hours early for an 8:30 bus. Phil does these kind of things. I'm not sure why. And did I mention it was China town? Not the prettiest part, either. So then we get on this bus with a bunch of, well, Chinese folk. 2 hours later, welcome to neon lights, tight slots, loose women.

I didn't like it right from the start. Its on the water but there's no ocean smell there. Something very wrong about that. And everything I saw had a very aesthetically clean feel to it - but the entire feeling itself felt contrived. You go the impression there was a VERY seedy underbelly to this town, just around the corner. I think the fact that I was there from 11pm til 5am had something to do with that - the dark kept things hidden. I dropped some cash early on at the hold-em tables, and then dealt very briefly and very acutely with the urge to throw the AmEx in the machine and head back for a serious go at it. Brains got the best of me and I spent the rest of the night milling around with the guys, looking at things I wanted but couldn't have - primarily large sums of money. I didn't like that feeling and I didn't drink because nobody I was with was drinking and I didn't want to cloud my judgment when it came to touching my wallet.

Got on a bus back to the city in the morning and dealt with an interminable commute back to the 'boken. When I got here, my phone nearly snapped in two when I flipped it open, so its been a touch on the ginger side ever since. I ordered the new one and it should get here soon, but that's for another blog post. Went home, slept a couple hours, hung out with K-train and Evonne before they headed into the city. Baby-sat Titus that night while his folks saw Star Wars. Sunday was church, golfing in Pennsylvania (Cregan drives to these way-out there courses but they're nice, and they're not expensive, so its worth it), then got back late to see Star Wars for myself with some friends.

Oh and while golfing, we had a couple and their kid on the back nine that were playing ridiculously slow, and by 12 or 13 we were just yelling in agony from the tee. On 15, after they were off the green, Cregan hit his approach, and apparently the dad wanted a reason to fight. He gets out, drops a ball, and actually hits it back at us. I hear it whiz by my head and go into the trees behind me. That guy was lucky I was golfing with two sober guys who work in ministry, instead of other crews (in other mental states) I've golfed with, because I was tempted to wrap his golf club around his neck.

Memorial Day I hung out on the UWS with train and Evonne, lunch at Gray's Papaya then shopping at Urban Outfitters. Shorts, CD, and a couple books. Lusting after over-priced t-shirts. Home to ribeyes on the grill, up on the deck with Chris.

May was fast. I didn't do a stitch of real work, beyond looking for open positions and begging for advanced training classes, and I'm not too sure how the month melted away so quick. Lots of sunshine and I've been able to see a good bit of it for a change.

Welcome to June.

I've read a good deal on the Christian perspective on war, thanks in part to Christian Carnival - see here, here, and perhaps most succinctly, here (a brief review on Just War Theory - originally Augustine's concept). Like Jon (the last link), I support the war that America is currently engaged in, yet my faith forces me to support it repentantly.

Repentance is an interesting word. In the original Hebrew, it was essentially synonymous with grief. In Genesis 6, when God looked on the earth and saw "how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time, it says that "The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth." Essentially, the Lord was repenting that he had made mankind.

The Christian mind, when faced with the term "repentance," is usually quick to think of a person making a change for the better as part of their contrition for past sins. While we know that God is not in the sinner's position of repentance, we do know that He experienced a classical definition of repentance: one of feeling regret for past actions to such a point as to change his mind regarding said actions.

It is important to point out here that while God did have a change of mind / heart regarding mankind, He did not seek to have a change of action - to totally undo His creation. Rather, with a broken heart, he set out to eradicate the sin, and build on the goodness of what He had already done.

In much the same way, I support a war in which a civilization seeks justice: I support it with repentance. Such a support is not contradictory: it does not see the war as a bad thing of its own nature, but rather as a necessary bad thing that serves to pin point and eliminate the real evil. It is regretful that we should have to take such action, but the only thing worse would be to have no response whatsoever.

Its an interesting thing to offer repentant support. As we memorialize those who have made such great sacrifices for our freedom, I would offer that it is not a joyful occasion. In such times we are thankful for men who would stand in the heat of battle, yet we are grieved that they ever had to. We remember, honor, and support them, repentantly.