The blues

First off, I love Firefox. Why anyone would use any other program with which to browse the internet is beyond me. Also, I hate Microsoft and especially Service Pack 2, which is currently annoying me.

But I am happy.

And I am sad.

And I am not manic.

I have...

the blues.

I don't have them in a B.B. King sense, I don't have them with soul, mind you. But I have them. I've had them before, I'll have them again. They come and go. If they stayed, I'd be either rich or dead right now, and probably neither would be a good thing. Irregardless (I love that word), I've got them.

I didn't know I could play harmonica until today. I was playing guitar but couldn't get my blues to flow through it. Then I remembered that somewhere in my room there was a harmonica. A couple hours and a couple boxes of junk later, I had my harmonica. I've got 3 songs worked out already - a Christmas one (tis the season, after all), a blues classic (naturally), and an original. Mind you, I've never actually played harmonica before today. But I've got the blues. They are an amazing thing.

What I've got is a lot on the brain. Good things, things I need to work on, random things, the perpetual cold-weather-has-arrived-now-I-must-ski-itch, work things, things I want to read, pictures I want to take, pictures I want to draw, future plans things, just things. I've got too many things right now, and there's other things, that want to add themselves to the list. I feel like a bouncer at Club Thoughts.

"Sorry, you're not on the list."

And its all adding up, and its giving me the blues. Its an interesting feeling. You feel both blue and inspired. Its an interesting time to get them. I've re-awakened the writing muscles, and quite possibly the drawing ones (they seem to follow naturally), and all of a sudden I feel creative after a couple years lapse. I'm very happy. Yet, at the same time, I feel like a wet sponge. I can't absorb any more at the moment.

I told a friend once that "I almost constantly feel like I could live and work here for the rest of my life or not another second, and can never tell which one I feel more of at any particular moment."

Sleep is out the window. I've got a ton to do, and it will be done.

The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

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