1.29.2007


Snow.

Big fluffy white wet ones. Not cold enough yet for the more dry goodness, but I'm not near a mountain, so it doesn't really matter. For some reason, however, every time it snows my first reaction is always to check the texture and assess its ski-ability. Champagne pow makes me happier than wet cotton, but if its white and falling from the sky, its proof that God loves me and wants me to be happy, and that's the point of snow, at the end of the day. I went for an out-of-the-way walk to the grocery store for nothing at all that I needed just because it was falling.

Friday was slammed with work from home, then I was supposed to see End of Men with Mars but it turned into us meeting up with Jay at the pig - I haven't been there since the last time I was hanging out with the both of them. A few drinks turned into dinner and drinks turned into Dave's appreciation party for Jay for getting me promoted, so the night cost me a few hundred more than I normally plan for on a night out with Jay, but I owed it to him. I think.

Saturday was hanging with Jon, AM, Angie, and her friend Julia who came down with her for the day. Kind of a rotating mix of who hung with who when, but it was a good day. Any day you end up at Ulysses is a good day, even if you end up there with a splitting headache. Don't get those hardly ever.

Today was church, where my pen ran out of ink at the start of the sermon, which I H.A.T.E.. Writing is how I listen. Then it was like TWELVE (count 'em) kids at Senior High which was just plain scraping the awesome off your awesome boots.

But it was also kind of sad.

Ever since I've decided its time to go, it seems like most of my experiences here are both poignantly sad and yet filled with portent of a very necessary change. Everything just feels like its telling me that its my time to move on. I feel like I'll be back, somehow, someday. And I feel like I don't want it to be over just yet. But I also feel like the city is almost ready to wish me farewell - for now. I think I needed it to be saying that to me.

I guess I haven't blogged it yet, but I didn't really talk to many people about it til this past weekend - I've updated the resume and have been applying to a number of different international relief organizations. I particularly want to get involved with relief efforts for the refugees of the genocide in Darfur, which would likely involve a move to Chad. I've found a few positions that sound like good matches for my skill set, and I'm really praying that God will open up the right door at the right time.

And for the first time in my life, I really feel a strong desire to go to a new place and do a new thing. Mind you, I'm not claiming its the guidance from God I've been seeking for so long - for all I know this could be a terrible decision - but I am saying that I really, really want to do this. I want to help people.

I'm sick of helping American corporations make money. I'm even a little tired of America itself, I think. I want to go somewhere else for a while. I want to get rid of a bunch of my stuff, throw the rest in a storage unit, and just leave. I want to help people.

And speaking of wants, I don't know if I'll ever fall in love, but I'd at least like, just once, to have a nice long walk in the snow with a girl that appreciates God's goodness in frozen form as much as I psychotically do.

And that's my best shot at a female form, at least from waist up. I don't know what I like about it in particular so much as the fact that I just feel that I got it as right as a pencil ever could have. The subject will remain unidentified, but I reiterate: this one caught the moment perfectly - perhaps better than anything else I've ever drawn. (Same deal, full size .jpg if you click on it - I think it looks even better close up)

5 comments:

Rebecca said...

Georgeous! I've been drawing again too, and really there is nothing as beautiful as people are. All of what you've written I understand so well. I still believe in you; you're an amazing person, whether you believe that or not.

Yes, the snow. I think I may be the only one on the planet who enjoys going out to shovel. Everytime I stop by my folks I clear their driveway.
It was a rather disappointing Christmas with no snow and I thought that maybe our whole season would suck equally. But we just got bombarded with lots of very fluffy, sparkly snow over the weekend. Yay! :) Of course, I was hoping not to have to take Lily in to school, but I can't have everything.

Dawn said...

Wow, moving overseas--sounds like a good thing, an adventure and service at the same time. I really don't think you can go too wrong there. Hopefully things will fall into place soon if that's where you need to be.

Red said...

I'm certainly not talking about love but i think you know of a girl who equally loves all things frozen falling from the sky.

83princess said...

Congrats on the direction! I believe the right door will open for you and that it will be more than you dreamed of!

David said...

I didn't say "loves." What I said, essentially, was "appreciates...psychotically." I've met some young ladies that come close. But none quite there. It is a high hope.