OK so I should probably write an update about last week and who I met in Kampala and what I went and did last weekend in Western Uganda, but instead I'm just going to blow some steam about the car situation here in Nairobi. Which can be summed up pretty succinctly:

It sucks.

The main problem is the duties. Duties to get a new vehicle here typically (TYPICALLY) run right around the same amount as the ENTIRE STICKER PRICE OF THE VEHICLE ITSELF. So, I'm looking at a nice new Hilux, Toyota's kind of equivalent to the Tacoma pickup back in the US, the first (and only) car I had out of college (I payed something in the mid-teens for it, used and a couple years old). The sticker price is something around $25K which of course is a stretch on a humanitarian budget, but possibly doable.

Here's why a pickup or an SUV - something with decent clearance and 4WD is important - of all the countries I've been to all over this continent, Kenya has, hands down, far and away, without a doubt, and beyond all comparison the WORST roads of anywhere. Ever. I'm talking speed-bumps the size of Volkswagens, roads in complete disrepair, potholes so big they should really be called craters. Some of them actually look like sinkholes, there are at least 2 within a couple kilometers of my apartment that I know if I ever hit by accident will pop the tire and probably bend an axel, at the least. There is no way I'm investing in anything less than a truck, as it would just get torn to shreds here. I've actually seen potholes in the speedbumps.

So anyway, back to the shiny Hilux. I'm thinking I just might be getting one when WHAMMO I find out about the duties. Just take that price and double it. Hey at least the math is easy, right? So instantly you take the idea of "new" and eliminate it from your car shopping vocabulary, that's no longer an option.

OK, so, used. Anything in the last 7-8 years is pretty much still out of reach because locals typically pay the duties in monthly installments, like their actual car payment. So anyone selling one is also selling it with whatever is still left on the duty. So I can't really afford anything newer than a 2001, maybe a 2002 if I find a steal.

Which just so happens to prove a very minor problem in that Kenyan banks won't make loans on older cars given the legal restrictions around the selling / importation / etc. of older model vehicles, in what I understand to be a rather admirable governmental policy trying to force newer vehicles onto the road and reduce fuel consumption. Smart move when the country's often out of gas (lines were 30 deep at the pumps yesterday, that I saw). So, I can't get a loan for the cars I can afford, but I can get a loan for the cars I can't afford. Brilliant.

Which in a way is fine, because, considering the state of the roads here, 100K kilometers on a used car, well I'd estimate that to be at least 1.5 to maybe 2.0 times as many kilo's wear and tear as it would be on the same vehicle in most developed countries. So I'm hesitant to consider one of those cars anyway.

So I'm up a creek. At this point I'm thinking maybe I'll just resort to taxis and borrowing friends cars here, and renting when I have to. WV's vehicle allowance is nice and all, but it gets me nothing up front to fund a car, so unless you want to blow your down-payment-on-a-home savings on something decent, that's not an option. I can always take the pool car which will be one of those used sedans that will get swallowed in a pothole, but then I don't get the allowance, and you can only use that for work anyway.

I realize I'm in the humanitarian sector now, but honestly, time is money, and the amount of time I've burned and will still burn on this headache is just bad business.

/vent.

And now I live in Nairobi.

Actually I'm still at a hotel, where every night I get to play my favorite new game, "Let's Not Get Malaria." You get points for however many mosquitoes you can kill, bonus points for finding the holes they're getting through and blocking them, and negative points for every bump you wake up with - one on my forearm and one on an ear this morning. I can't wait to get an apartment, hopefully one with actual screens on the windows, if I can hold out such hope.

I really hate sleeping under mosquito nets, but I suppose I need to get used to it again.

Nairobi's smaller than you originally think. Even for its size, its a bit intimidating - after all it does have 3-4 million people and is the 4th biggest city on the continent. Its a huge hub not just for NGO work but also governmental, business, and culture, although I'm not sure where to find the best of the latter yet. The climate's pretty moderate as its just below the equator, and a strong British presence remains here from days of old (which my palate of course appreciates deeply). But city-wise, it just doesn't feel that big - I'm not sure how else to explain that, but once you work through the uncertainties, it almost feels manageable.

Its called "Nairobbery" by many, given the rising crime rates in the last couple decades, attributed probably in equal parts to the massive urbanization / growth, combined with your sadly typical police / government corruption that does little to punish criminals anyway. I won't be posting the US State Department travel warning for the city like I did for SA and Zim way back when (I'll be fine, mom) - suffice to say this is where the embassy attacks occurred and Kenya's no further from the middle east and the general spread of Islam now then it was a few years back. WVI requires I undergo security briefing, and they require security analysis of the compound where I pick an apartment, and I'm trying to find a German-Shepherd friendly one at that.

84% of Kenya's population is native Kenyan - one ethnic tribe or another, leaving 15% of other African, and a whopping 1% of non-Africans, the majority of which I can pretty safely guess are Indian, probably followed by Europeans. I'm in a minority of a minority here, but at least most of that minority is here in the city.

The people are generally pretty friendly, but everything - EVERYTHING - is slower here. You have to talk slower, move slower, wait longer, and not get impatient. People get frustrated when you move too fast for them. Its like I've written about before - the one thing that the African has no paucity of is time. Its a completely different paradigm. My fast-growing grasp on Swahili has been helping me considerably this time around.

45% of Kenyans regard themselves Protestant, another 33% regard Catholic. Those are just estimates, though, and estimates on Islam range from 10% to as high as 45%. And 100% drive like they want you to die. Fortunately traffic is so incredibly bad in Nairobi - again, the rapid urbanization, combined with the almost complete lack of infrastructure development in that same time period - that its many times difficult for anyone to work up enough speed to kill you. Unless its a mutatu (minibus taxi), which only have 2 speeds: stop, and death.

Retro- blogging. Kenya. Here we go.

Kenya was right around the end of September because I flew straight to Nairobi after my time in London. We had Kemi, the consultant that ended up leaving the project, in tow, and once we met up at the airport (different flights), we had a cab to the hotel, a change of clothes, and were off to WV's offices in a part of town called the Westlands. Nairobi was my first exposure to what I can only call darkest Africa. The thing with ZA is that its developed - its still got many 3rd world elements, but they're contained (for the most part) to certain cellular areas now. The places I spend most of my time here feel closer to a European setting, just with a major crime problem.


Back to Nairobi. Worked a couple of days out of the WV offices there, which are actually the regional offices for Africa, as well as the national offices for Kenya, Somalia, and Southern Sudan (the last two can't operate safely in their own countries). Mainly with technical staff so I didn't meet a lot of the functional people I've run into since. Thursday night we all headed out to Carnivore, a kind of novelty restaurant that you apparently have to go to if you're in Nairobi. Its this huge bbq pit basically and they're serving up all kinds of meats on skewers that were more like swords - the dudes carry the stuff around and then slice it off onto your plate for you. I had a lot, but the only exotic stuff they had that night was ostrich, crocodile, and something else I can't remember. Lots of other stuff though too.


Also, I had a first. I was the project lead and I made the executive decision to whip out the AmEx and treat everyone to dinner. Now, I've charged in plenty of dinners before, but all after getting the nod from some SE who I knew would back me on getting the few-hundred-to-few-thousand $ charged in. Except for that one project where we were out all the time but that doesn't really count. Anyway, this was the first time I went ahead and picked up the tab knowing I was the guy who I needed to ask about it. So I asked me, and I said yes, and I did it. Go me.


On Friday I caught a mini-bus type safari deal thing with a number of strangers / new friends off to Masai Mara. There was an Irish guy and gal who were both down on a volunteer work project, as well as an American gal volunteering at an orphanage outside of Nairobi, an older French dude who was in town as a lecturer, a Polish couple on vacation, and an Asian guy about my age from San Jose, of all places. And there was our guide, who I think was Nathanael, but that's scratched out on one of my shabby folded pieces of note-ery that I still have to find in my growing pile of them, when I find some time to clean the desk, hopefully this weekend.


The drive there was pretty interesting. It was long and the roads were not very good, where they did exist. In some places, you weren't really sure if they did. We stopped for a lunch of goat stew and a corn/bean mash mix thing. After leaving Nairobi it was pretty clear that we were striking well out into the real 3rd world at that point. We started passing small Masai villages and came across the occasional small town, and probably 6-7 hours outside of Nairobi, we arrived at the edge of the national park, where our camp was. We got there in time to do a quick evening drive, but didn't see a ton, although I saw my first ostrich (in Africa, that is).

That night at the camp, our camp security - local Masai teens that were there to keep out animals that might come in and eat us - did some local dance type stuff for us which was pretty cool. Then one of them showed me a lion's tooth on a necklace. From a lion he killed, with his spear and sword. Yes, I most certainly would like to buy that, thank you very much. Carolien broke it when I showed it to her a week or two later, and I still need to get it back from her. Its as long as my index finger, and the coolest thing I've acquired whilst here.


The next day we did a full-day drive, which included getting over into Tanzania, as well as seeing my first Hippo, and finally my first Cheetah. Also saw the post-migration - not the actual migration itself but rather where they had migrated to and were now hanging out. Pretty cool to see Gnu and Buffalo in such massive numbers. Also, we stopped at a lodge in the middle of the park for drinks / shopping, but I stayed close to the van because there were suspicious looking monkeys around and I didn't want my stuff messed with. Let's be honest - what monkeys aren't suspicious looking? In fact, forget the looking part - monkeys are just plain suspicious. My suspicions were quickly confirmed.



Next thing I know, I'm the lone defender of our stuff in the van, doing battle with endless hordes of hungry shrieking demon beasts, with their little claws and fangs. And beady little eyes filled with human-hate. Coming in the van through the windows, sunroof, the door, it was seriously like something out of a Steven King novel. Soon they had driven me from the van, but not without my gear. I fought as long as I could, but I just couldn't get all the bags out. There came a point when I had to save myself. Some of the food in the Polish couple's bag had to be sacrificed. Such were the gruesome costs of war with the spawn of Satan.

When we got back to the camp that evening I went and toured the Masai village across the road from our camp - it was pretty cool to see how they live, build their homes, make their fires, herd their animals, etc..


Next day was a morning drive, highlighted with my first big male lion sighting. He was sitting about 10m from the butt-end of a zebra. That was all that was left there, nothing from that end up. No bones, no head, nothing. Just the butt.


Saw a lot more lion, and a lot of elephant. Then I got on a plane back to Nairobi, not envying my new friends their long drive back. Here's how bad the roads are - that 6-7 hour drive out took exactly 30 minutes to fly. On a prop plane no less.

Had some time to blog at the lounge at the Nairobi airport, which was one of the first blogs I wrote from Africa, way back in September, which is kinda when I about started retro-blogging anyway, so that means I'm starting to get a bit repetitive and there won't be many more of these types of posts, because pretty soon I'll be all caught-up and actually real blogging instead, for a change. Theoretically.